I recently saw my one and only sister and sibling give birth to her very first child. She had a baby boy and she did so great. I was so proud of her.
One thing that surprised me though, was that being there at the hospital and being part of the wonderful miracle of birth didn’t make me want to experience it for myself again.
I recently did a post over at Because Mom Said So asking other mothers, “How do you know when you’re done?” I got a number of interesting responses there, so go check it out if you’d like to see what other moms had to say.
But being there with my sister, I could remember quite vividly what it was like to be in the different stages of labor she was in and how challenging the whole experience is. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of the most beautiful, most amazing experiences any woman can be involved in, but I did not have any desire to go through it again for myself. I’d been going back and forth between whether or not we should TTC again. It’s so crazy how widely my feelings can vary on this subject. I can easily go from one end of the spectrum to the other from day to day.
I thought being with my sister may cause me to want to do it again. I know it had that effect on one of the other women who was also there. That’s why it surprised me even more that it didn’t affect me the same way. Maybe the birth of his baby of mine was just too recent. I’m not ready. But part of me just felt like my time was done and now I can help others (my sister and even my sister-in-law who recently found out she’s expecting as well) and I can still be part of this “common miracle” without having to actually be the one giving birth. This thought actually sat pretty well with me. Who knows if it will actually stick or not. We’ll just have to wait and see. I just know that right now, at this very moment, and actually for the past few days straight which is kind of unusual, I’ve felt *almost* at peace with the idea that maybe my time is done. Only time will tell. I’m still not quite ready to finalize that decision just yet.