My miscarriage began on Wednesday, November 8th at exactly 10 weeks from LMP. I had a couple instances of spotting prior to that, but on Wednesday the bleeding, though still light, became constant. So far it hasn’t been terrible physically - very little cramps, just a bit of a back ache, and light flow. But there are times when my body just feels so drained. It surprises me because I don’t see a physical reason for it. I feel like I’ve been through some grueling physical experience - from the top of my head to the tips of my fingers to the soles of my feel I feel worn out.
Other than that I think I’m doing quite well emotionally. There have been a few times when I’ve been sad, but so far, it’s not so bad as I was expecting. I know that there will be times in the future when I’ll have sad moments. One thing I want to do though is get a tattoo in remembrance of this baby. Back when DH got his first tattoo I saw these cute Baby Angel images at a tattoo shop. At the time I thought they were so cute, but didn’t really see any significance to putting it permanently on my body, but now I think I will. I just have to figure out where to put it. I still want to be able to be “tattoo-less” when appropriate (have it covered by clothing), but at the same time I do want to be able to show it to people or have others see it. So I’m not sure where to put it. I don’t know if I’ll be able to decide on a place that will meet all my criteria because I also want it in a place where I will be able to see it. It’s okay, I have some time to think about it. I so want to go to Miami to get it done too. I want it done by the best, you know?
Anyway - I am glad I decided to have this miscarriage naturally. I needed to do it this way for my own peace of mind. I don’t think I would have handled a impersonal medical procedure to end this very well. When it’s over, I will go back to the dr for a follow up to make sure that everything went okay.
One thing I have learned through all this - there are so many women who experience losses. Many of their stories are so much more heartbreaking than mine. These women are such strong, amazing women! They’ve all survived so much. It’s good to know that I’m not alone and that others have felt and thought the same things I have. And as much as some of these women have been through, they are so great at supporting others and giving hope. Like I said, it’s just amazing.
Technorati Tags: pregnancy, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, baby